Back in Black

Black, b/c things are nutty and can't seem to be un-nutted. Nutted up, as my nephew says...

Chef Boy and I could be closer.

Man Child could be tidier and more respectful.

Curly Locks could stop making me wonder when to deliver thee to the nunnery.

And Princess could just get dressed without screaming ONCE.

Oh, and the money tree could sprout, the lottery could pay up, the new job could be less insane, and I could actually count WW points for more than one meal before giving up.

And, my parents could move from podunk meth world, the nursing home could actually care for my grandmother and my sister could get her head out of her ass.

However, I have great friends!

Not to be too depressing, but the summer ended in a whirlwind of crazy!

We almost had to find a new house (from CO, mind you) and move within a week of being back home. So, the final days of camp were clouded by getting through that dilemma. Plus, I was still job hunting and feeling totally unemployable. I finally got a job that on paper is wonderful, and in theory is impossible. I'm not lazy, others in this position agree.

Anyhoo, all this has just put a pout in my pizazz, so to speak, and causes me to question lots of things.

For instance...

How did I get here and who are these insane people around me?

What is this word "Mom" they continually scream?

Do I look like an ATM?

Do you really want a dog food sandwich?

What do you mean does she ever shut up?

How is it I've married a man who removes his clothes in different rooms all over the house, leaving them where they lie; has never once in his adult life replaced the toilet pape ON the roll; and thinks I have a special drawer as part of my "girl parts" where I store his keys, wallet, and change for the newspaper?

If I was skinny, God, I swear everything would be ok and I'd never complain again.

If anyone has any answers to these questions OR would like to make additional bargains with God, please do so in the comments section.

... And good night!!