Lights Off

I participated in my 4th Vagina Monologues last evening. It went well. I really wasn't into it, though. Lately, I'm not into anything. I can't make myself really give a shit about anything. I want to- no doubt the desire is there, but I can't make it happen. Depression, hopelessness, tired of living in a life that has no representation of me- I don't know which one it is, or which one came first... I only know it's a real pain in the ass to constantly want to cut and run.

If it were not for those damn kids, I'm sure I would have done this long ago.
What is one to do when they find that they are totally lost. Actually, better said that the realization occurs that I was never found. Who am I is such a cliche question- but I fear I must ask it. Where am I and How did I get here are others I need answers to. Help is what I need, I guess.

I know there is so much inside me that I am not exhibiting. I just don't know how to get it out.

A light is turned off.

A very depressing blog.